My first post...a little background:

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post...and honestly, I'm not even sure where to begin. I have been on so many adventures in the past few years, I could probably have my very own reality television show. I'm obviously not entirely against exploiting myself...but I don't think I could handle that level of fame.

So...I'll write instead. You might find it difficult to believe, but English is my second language...so please excuse me if I misuse words from time to time.

Enough disclaimers....I'll get to it.

First of all, this is me:

Pretty handsome, eh? I'm not all looks, you know? I've got serious brains in that pretty head...I'll share some thoughts and you can decide whether you agree....

Most cats live a very mundane existence, consisting of naps, play, a little mischief and eats. I am not most cats. I spend the majority of my days out roaming my territory, which really has no boundaries. My person discovered just how far I wander when I got stuck in a chimney about a year ago. I was away from home for at least 4 dark times...I think you people call them nights. Boy was I hungry...and bored. After a few days, I had lost enough of my fluff to squeeze out...and I meandered home. I was shocked to see pictures of myself all over the neighborhood...I was like famous!

My person was so glad to see me that her face got all wet. I guess she wanted my face to be wet too, cause she put me under the water faucet for the first (and only) time in my life. That was a horrible experience, but I will be the first to admit that I smelled much better after she made me all soapy with some gel-like stuff. This wasn't the first or the last time I would be grounded.

When I am "free"... I cannot divulge exact details of my doings (because of clause 435.612 in my cat association contract), but I can say that I often return home with amazing gifts to reward my family. 8 in a day is my all time record. It could be a world record...actually, I'm pretty sure it is.

All too often, I am faced by my neighborhood rivals who rudely interrupt my hunting activities. I won't say who specifically, but the list is long and consists of many gnarly creatures. Thankfully, my person looks after me quite diligently, checking for evidence of my fighting tendencies each time I return home. Most recently, I was put on lock down for a wicked war wound that landed me in the vet twice.


Isn't the tube in my leg awesome?!

The day that I was released back into the wild, I got clobbered again. I'm actually grounded now for the fourth time in the past 3 months, but to put a positive spin on it, is also what has given me time to start this blog. Ugh...I hate being locked in...but what do you expect? I'm not going to back down when challenged, regardless of the size of the other creature or the consequences.

In the past 4 years I have had stitches 3 times, 3 drain tubes for abscesses, a broken tail, an alien ear fungus that no one could cure, missing lower and upper fangs, and I continue to battle a case of what my person calls bulimia. The vet wants to put my name on one of the doors because I go there so much. I think that would be cool. My person wants to buy stock in Clavamox...whatever that means.

So beyond my reputation as the ultimate ninja fighter, I am also known an avid hunter. Check this out...



Impressive, huh? My people were doing this ridiculous thing where they only ate earth food for a week and I thought they could use some protein. I brought in the above feathery fluff pod (chicken in English) and my person cuddled it and put it in the vet box. What the heck? She even called the vet and scheduled to take it in for repair. She didn't get it...This was a gift, a wonderful meal for her and the rest of my family to enjoy. I was so disturbed; So I went out and got another one.



I made sure this one wasn't wiggling before presenting it to my person. I could tell she was proud, most likely because it only took me 10 minutes to get this guy for her. I know you're probably wondering where I found these giant feathery fluff pods or how I got them over the fence and through the cat door. Well, I found them in the ******** and used my ****** powers to ******** *** ********* ***** *****. I know...so many secrets, but I'm a ninja cat and that's how we roll.

I don't limit my hunting to feathery fluff pods (chickens), I bring home the occasional feisty puff tail rodent (squirrel), grown up bouncy ground kickers (bunnies), many bucktooth long tails (rats), some really unpleasant dark time diggers (moles), an tons of sharp mouth air runners (birds)...anything that moves really. I especially enjoy bringing live critters into the house in the middle of dark time and releasing them. I could watch my person moving furniture to re-hunt my prey for hours. It's quite entertaining, really.

When I'm not hunting or fighting, you'll likely find me sleeping. I prefer to catch shut eye right where my people set their food to eat. They like me there so much, they put my fuzzy snuggle rug on one of the food mats!



I don't always sleep solo, I have a cat and a dog who I love. My dog (Berkley, the 3 year old Yorkie Poo) is obsessed with me.



My dog and cat don't get along at all these days. I love them both...I just refuse to choose sides. Laya (my cat) was adopted when I was negative 4 years old...so she is kind of the queen of the house. She's 8 now (for those of you who aren't great at math) and prefers staying outside...and away from Berkley. I miss her.



I'm not sure what else to say right now...I guess I'll update you when something crazy happens. I know my person wants me to take it easy on her for a bit...it's been a very trying year. I feel bad, but I'm just being me...and while I might be a tad bit crazy, I'm probably the coolest cat EVER.

Meow,

Romeo